Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Shalom and welcome to New Jewish Dad. I'm Jacob Sager, father of five. Today we're talking about welcoming your baby into the Jewish community. Whether it's a baris, a simchat bat, or an alternative naming ceremony, let's explore how to make it a meaningful experience for your unique family. You know, the comedian Judy Gold once joked, a bris is where you invite all your friends and family to watch you put your newborn son's penis under a knife. It's like a party, but with more screaming and less cake. Now, while Gold's joke is definitely on the edgier side, she touches on something real here, the intensity and significance of these age old rituals in our modern lives. But here's the thing. Jewish tradition is a lot more flexible than you might think. Sure, there are certain aspects of abriss that make it abriss, like the actual circumcision and the giving of a Hebrew name. But beyond that, there's a lot of room for creativity and personalization. And what about our daughters? The simchat bat, or celebration of a daughter, is a relatively new tradition, but one that's taken on deep meaning for many families. The late Rabbi Ruvenhamer, a pioneer in Jewish feminism, wrote about the importance of welcoming daughters with the same level of joy and ritual as sons. He said, the birth of a daughter is no less the cause for celebration than the birth of a son. Both are gifts from God. Both are essential to the continuity of our people.
[00:01:22] As a father, your role in these ceremonies is crucial. You're not just a passive observer. You're an active participant in welcoming your child into the covenant and into the community. So how can we make these rituals resonate with your values? First, talk with your partner about what's most important to the both of you. Is it traditional liturgy? Is it the presence of certain loved ones? A particular occasion or officiant? Get clear on your shared priorities.
[00:01:50] Second, don't be afraid to get creative. Maybe you write your own blessing for your baby or choose to hold the ceremony in a place that holds special meaning for your family. If you're an interfaith family, consider how you might incorporate elements from both traditions.
[00:02:05] Third, remember that the real meaning of these ceremonies lies in the commitment you're making to raise your child with love, wisdom and Jewish values. The specifics of the ritual are secondary to the intention behind it.
[00:02:20] I'll never forget when my brother in law mispronounced my firstborn son's name at his bris. My very, very religious sister gave him such a hard time about it, but I chose to just shrug it off because I had read a whole speech about what his name was. I don't hold any sort of theological belief that that mattered. And I chose my son's name in the presence of God and that's all that mattered. My brother in law's slip up of his tongue didn't change the significance of that moment or the love I have for my child, nor less invalidated his welcoming into the Jewish people. So as you prepare to welcome your baby, remember this is your opportunity to start your child's Jewish journey with intention and love. Embrace the traditions that resonate, adapt what doesn't, and most of all, savor the profound joy of this moment. This is Jacob Sager wishing you a mazel tov on your growing family. And remember, however you choose to welcome your child, you're already acing this whole Jewish parent thing. Until next time, Shalom.
