Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Shalom and welcome back to New Jewish Dad. I'm Jacob Sager, father of five. Today we're going to talk about the fourth trimester. Those first three months after birth when your family is adjusting to the new reality. It's a time of joy, exhaustion, and is a major transition. Let's talk about how you can support your partner and bond with your baby during this intense period. In the Talmud, we find a discussion about the importance of a mother's physical and emotional recovery after childbirth. The rabbis recognize that a new mother needs time to heal, to rest, to bond with her baby. They even set aside a specific period called a specific period called Yemei tohar, or these days of purification, during which a woman is exempt from certain religious obligations to focus on her own well being. The specifics of these ancient practices may not be part of your Jewish religious practice today. The underlying wisdom certainly applies to all of us. The fourth trimester is a time when your partner needs extra support, understanding and patience as she recovers from the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy and childbirth. What can you do? First, take on as much of the household responsibilities as possible. Whether it's cooking, cleaning, or caring for older children, step up and give your partner the space to rest and heal.
[00:01:25] Second, be an active participant in caring for your new baby. Learn how to change diapers, give baths, and soothe your little one. Not only is this providing practical help for your partner, it also gives you invaluable bonding time with your child.
[00:01:40] Third, encourage your partner to take time for self care. Whether it's a nap, a shower or a walk around the block. These small moments of respite can make a big difference in her well being. And she needs you to tell her that it's okay. And also make sure you take care of yourself as well. New Jewish dad when our second child was born, I remember feeling overwhelmed by the dynamic of now having two kids under two. My wife was exhausted and our toddler was adjusting to having a new sibling. I made it my mission to take on as much as I could. I wore the baby carrier everywhere, learned every silly song, and became a a master of the double diaper change. It was tiring, but it brought me so much closer to both my kids, gave my wife the support she needed, and obviously was not something I could do every day. And I felt really overwhelmed at a certain point and had to take care of myself as well. So seek support from outside of the two of you during this time you need it. Whether you're with your first kid or a later kid, it's also very important during this time is to be bonding as a family. So one of your roles as dad is really to protect mom and baby. You're wanting to invite all your grandparents, all your friends in to meet the baby and to give mom that much needed community serotonin boost. But it's also your job to set the boundaries of those people and make sure you're getting what you need, maybe in terms of food from them, but not necessarily being overwhelmed by them, just sitting and talking when you're already exhausted from not sleeping. As for bonding with your baby, remember that it's not just about grand gestures. It's the small everyday moments that build these connections. Singing to your baby, making silly faces, tickling, savoring those sleepy snuggles. The fourth trimester is a wild ride, but it also it's just an incredible opportunity to deepen your bond as a family and to grow as a father.
[00:03:39] By supporting your partner and actively participating in your baby's care, you're setting a foundation for a family culture of love and connection.
[00:03:49] So signing off, this is Jacob Sager reminding you that the days are long, but the years are short. Embrace the chaos, find the joy, and know that you are doing an amazing job. Until next time, Shiloh.
