Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Shalom. Welcome back to New Jewish Dad. I'm Jacob Sager, father of five. Today we're talking about the age old challenge of balancing work and family life. As a new father, you might be feeling torn between providing for your family and being present for all those precious moments. Let's explore some Jewish wisdom that can help us navigate this tension.
[00:00:23] The Torah places a high value on both work and family. On one hand, we're commanded to work for six days of the week to engage in the productive labor that sustains our families and contributes to the world. And on the other hand, we're instructed to set aside the seventh day, Shabbat as a time for rest, for family, for spiritual renewal. This balance between work and rest, between providing and being present, is at the core of Jewish life. The Talmud even still say states that one of the first questions a person is asked in the heavenly courts is did you conduct your business affairs with integrity? This implies that our work life is not separate from our spiritual life, but an integral part of it. So how can we apply this wisdom to the modern reality of being a working father?
[00:01:16] So first, and this can just never be stated enough in the world, set clear boundaries between work and family time.
[00:01:24] A huge piece of Jewish history is Moses leading the exodus from Egypt. And if you read the text of the Torah, Moses asks Pharaoh multiple times to just let the Israelites go into the wilderness and pray to celebrate a holiday. And Pharaoh will not let them do that. And so you know what? They leave. They completely get up and leave because the boundaries aren't being respected. So set clear boundaries when you're present with your family. It's just the greatest form of self expression and connection and legacy and just a moment in your family culture to continue the growth. So put away your phone, give your family just full attention when you're there, and savor those moments of connection. Second, communicate openly with your employer about your family commitments or your religious commitments. Many workplaces today are a lot more flexible about those arrangements. And of course, if you live, at least I know if you live in the United States, the law is on your side to support you in your religious observance. So don't be afraid to advocate for what you need to be a present father while still maintaining your professional obligations. And third, find small ways to connect with your child throughout the workday. You know, it can be one way, it can be two way. You can put a photo of your baby on your desk, you can make a little video that you send to mama to show during the day or you can just simply hold your little one in your thoughts as you go about your tasks. I remember when I actually, I was working my dream job, right for during and after the birth of my second child.
[00:03:05] And it was a really demanding job. It was, it was an international organization. So I was on, on the phone or in meetings, spread out across the whole day. And not that I couldn't get time with my children or wife, but with my son, who was mastering walking at that time, as he was the older child, I would take him for a walk every morning when he woke up. I would make sure, even though I actually had to talk to some people overseas before sunrise, when he would get up around sunrise, I would take them for a walk around our apartment complex. And it was just a special moment of connection.
[00:03:43] And on top of having somewhat of a work life, balance gave me that perspective that everything that I am doing is for a purpose and I'm actually in control of all of it, which is an important thing to find or refind as you're a father with multiple children. So reminding remember, finding a perfect balance is. It's an elusive goal. There will be days when work demands more of your time and energy and others when family takes precedence. The key is to keep coming back to your values, to communicate openly with your partner and your employer, and to find small ways to integrate your roles as a provider and present father.
[00:04:27] This is Jacob Sager reminding you that your work as a father is just as sacred as your work in the world. May you find the balance that allows you to think. Thrive in both. Until next time. Shalom.
