Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Shalom. It's Jacob Sager here, father of five and still figuring it out. Today we're talking about using your voice to connect with your unborn child. Sounds a bit meshuggah, right? You know, talking to someone who can't talk back, it's kind of like being at the kotel. But trust me, it's more powerful than you might think.
[00:00:20] You know, when I think about the power of a father's voice, I'm reminded about something the jewish philosopher Martin Buber once said.
[00:00:28] Buber, who's famous for his ideas about dialogue and relationships, wrote, when two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them. Now, Buber was talking about relationships in general, but I think this idea is incredibly powerful when we consider our relationship with our unborn children.
[00:00:49] It's not just this thing that's growing inside of our partner. This is a person whos coming into our life to be part of our family.
[00:00:59] Our voice, authentic, human, imperfect as it may be, creates that first surge of connection. Its the beginning of dialogue that will go on throughout our lifetime. Buber's philosophy was all about the importance of genuine present communication. As expectant fathers, we have this amazing opportunity to start that genuine communication, that authentic relationship. Even before theyre born, our voices become that electricity, that divine spark of connection between us and our children.
[00:01:31] So when you feel silly talking to a belly, remember youre not just making sounds. Youre creating a sacred connection and talking to a real person you love.
[00:01:42] So how do we use our voices to connect with our unborn children? And why does it matter? First off, let's get the science out of the way. Around 18 weeks, your baby starts hearing sounds from outside the womb. By 25 weeks, they're responding to different voices. And guess what? Your deep, manly voice is particularly good at penetrating all that amniotic fluid. Who knew being a base was going to pay off, right? But this isn't just about biology. It's about starting a relationship with your child. It's about beginning the process of passing down your stories, your values, your love for our heritage or funk music. Now, I know what you're thinking, Jacob. I feel ridiculous talking to a belly. Trust me, I've been there. With our first, I felt like I was auditioning for a really weird one man show. But here's the thing. It's never about being perfect. It's about being present. Let me tell you a story. When we were expecting our third, I was stressed about, well, just like everything. And one night, my wife suggested I tried reading to the baby. So I just picked up a book of folktales and felt a bit silly. But as I read, something shifted. Like I really felt this connection for me. So what can you say to your unborn child? Here are a few things. Here are a few ideas for you. First, read, it doesn't have to be war and peace. It doesn't have to be something poetic. It doesn't have to be wisdom literature. It can be your favorite comic book or a simple children's book, a jewish story, or even the sports section. Whatever just feels natural to you. Secondly, you could sing. And don't worry if you sound like a dying cat. Your baby doesn't care if you can't carry a tune, and you're the one who's introducing them to music, so maybe it's a good place to start. Third, just talk. Share your days, your hopes, your fears. Think of it as a practice for all those heart to hearts you'll have in the future. I'd like to joke with my wife when she was pregnant. I'd be talking to one of the babies inside, and she might say something back to one of the things I would say. And I'd say, I'm. Pardon me, I'm having a private conversation with my child here.
[00:03:48] And remember, this isn't just for your child. It's for you, too. It's a chance to start seeing yourself as a father, to process your own emotions about this wild ride you're on. All right, here are three things you can do this week to try this out and be practical. Start a bedtime story routine just when it's time for bed, when you or your partner, if she's going to bed before you spend a few minutes, kind of like reading or talking to or putting that baby to sleep. Okay. Secondly, give your baby a daily weather report. Bring them into the world by telling them what's going on in the world.
[00:04:26] And third, and this could have value in different ways.
[00:04:32] Record yourself. Use your phone to record a message or a story. Your partner can play it when you're not around.
[00:04:40] And it's just.
[00:04:42] It's just something there to have to connect to. Possibly be more intentional in your message, but have a way to connect when you're not there. So as we wrap up, here's something to think about. What's one thing you wish your father had told you before you were born? Hold on to that thought. Maybe it's something you can share with your own child.
[00:05:04] Remember, you're not just waiting for your baby. To arrive. You're already the father. Your voice is powerful. Use it lovingly. Connect deeply. This is Jacob Sager reminding you that sometimes talking to yourself isn't crazy. It's just fatherhood. Shalom and catch you in the next episode.
