Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Shalom and welcome to new jewish dad. I'm Jacob Sager, father of five. Today, let's talk about the second trimester. For a lot of dads, this is when pregnancy starts feeling really real. That little bean on the ultrasound is now a fully fledged bump. Let's talk about how we can connect with our growing babies and support our partners during this unique time. You know, there's this fascinating moment in Genesis when Rebecca, Isaac's wife, is pregnant with twins, the Torah says, and the children struggled together within her. It's one of the earliest mentions of feudal movement in literature. But what strikes me is how Rebecca responds. She doesn't just brush it off, she seeks to understand, asking, if it be so, why am I thus?
[00:00:48] Alright, that's one translation. She's engaging with her pregnancy, trying to make sense of this new life that's inside of her. Notably absent is Isaacs non comment about the fetal health or whats going on. But this story reminds us that the bond between partner, between parent and child, the awe of new life, the desire to comprehend whats happening, its all as ancient as our people, as fathers were part of this tradition of connecting with our children, even in the womb. So the second trimester, its often called the honeymoon phase of pregnancy. Many women find the nausea easing up, but they're not really yet at the uncomfortable stage where they're so super big. But what does this trimester mean for us dads? Well, first off, prime time to keep getting involved. Your partner is probably feeling better, you're hitting a certain rhythm and the reality of the baby is sinking in. You might see a cute little bump and later on you might even feel those first flutters of movement. For a lot of dads, this is when it clicks. It's not just an idea anymore. There's actually a tiny human in there growing every single day. And it is a part of your wife and a part of your life. And it is what makes you a family. It's mind blowing when you really think about it. So how can you bond with your baby during this time? Talk to them. I know it might feel a little silly at first, chatting away to a belly, but trust me, your baby can hear you. Read a story, sing a song, or just narrate your day. It's not about the words, it's about familiarizing them with your voice to build that connection, to resonate. This is also a great time to reflect on the kind of dad you want to be. What values do you want to instill? What sort of home do you want to create. These aren't just hypotheticals. They're the first step on your parenting path. And hey, of course this is all about your partner. She might be over the morning sickness, but she needs your support all along the way. Go to those prenatal checkups. Help her get the nursery ready, rub her feet, hold her, and let her stretch. These small acts of care, they're not just for her. They're ways of nurturing and connecting to your baby.
[00:03:02] The second trimester is often when couples start thinking about names and our tradition. Names hold deep significance. Maybe youre naming after a cherished relative or choosing a name for its meaning. This can be a beautiful way to tie your baby to family histories and values.
[00:03:18] Lastly, dont bottle up your emotions during this time. Its normal to feel excited, terrified, overwhelmed, or all of the above. Sharing these feelings with your partner can deepen your bond and help you navigate this journey together. I remember when my wife was pregnant with my daughter, our second child. We had this little bedtime ritual. After we'd put our son to bed, I'd rest my hand on her belly and put my face up against it and sing a little negun, you know, just kind of a wordless melody. And I was kind of making it up every time. And it started out silly, of course, but as time went on, it just became this kind of sacred moment and connection between the three of us. And my wife didn't know our baby's gender. She never wants to know that information. But you can find it out during this period, and I want to know. So at a certain ultrasound, they write it down and give it to me in an envelope so my wife doesn't have to see. And I found out my daughter's name. Well, I found out it was going to be a daughter, that we were going to have a girl, and it was just this secret song to me. And so even though Shiraz is a place in Iran and the name has a different etymology, we named her Shiraz as kind of a connection to that, as this secret song that came out Shir Raz in Hebrew. And so that's just a tangible part and an expression of connecting with your child and with your partner during this time that is nourishing and growthful for all three of you. So here are some practical ways you can connect during the second trimester. All right, first, what I just said, start a daily practice of talking or singing to your baby. Even just a few minutes can foster a bond and just release good energy into your family and from you, between you and your spouse and your unborn child. Attend childbirth classes with your partner should be a no brainer. This is, you know, not optional. It's a great preparation and a way to share in the pregnancy journey. Third is maybe put together a playlist for your little one. Choose songs that hold meaning for you and for your partner, and you can enjoy it now and after the birth. And it's just, it's a way to bring about an artful and beautiful household. So the second trimester is a special time of bonding and preparation. It's an important time of critical growth. Lean into it. Love it. Connect with your growing baby, be there for your partner, and grow into the man, the father that you aspire to be. Remember, fatherhood doesn't begin at birth. It's already underway. Shalom.
